“How do you do it all?”
I have that said to me a lot. My response is always, “I don’t.” I don’t do everything you think that I do.
You see me at my best most of the time. You see me hosting events and writing posts and managing social media accounts. You may see me room mom-ing it or having fun playdates. You may see me teaching Bible class or taking my kids out for a fun activity. You see the good.
You don’t see that I have help cleaning my house. You don’t see that I rarely cook (although it is a goal for this year). You don’t see that I feed my kids lunchables and freezer pizza bites for lunch. You don’t see that Mason is currently on his 3rd episode of Octonauts as I type this so I can, well, type this. You don’t see that I forget to or just don’t work out 50% of the time. You don’t see the bribes so we can run just one more errand. You don’t see the compromises. You don’t see the meltdowns. You don’t see the anxiety. You don’t see the guilt.
Every mom, really everybody, has a side you don’t see. But, for some reason, we compare our “don’t see” to their “see”. It’s hard not to these days. Social media makes it so easy. And I KNOW you’ve probably had the conversation before about Instagram just being the highlight reel. I have this conversation with people all the time. But, does the conversation ever actually change the way you think? Maybe momentarily, but we all fall back into the trap.
You know what happens when we compare? Nothing good. Unless you’re comparing which pair of shoes to buy (go with the heels), comparison robs us of joy. JOY, y’all! If we don’t have joy, then what’s the point? Comparison creates guilt. I wrote a little bit about guilt earlier this week here, but I think we can talk about it again. The guilt is the worst. I feel guilty daily and not because anyone is making me. I feel guilty because I’m comparing my “don’t see” to your “see”.
I realize that I can keep saying that until I’m blue in the face, but actions speak louder than works. For 2016, I’m vowing to show more of my “don’t see” to everyone. I figure if I do it, then maybe it will be easier for you to do it. Maybe you’re already really good at not comparing yourself to others, but keep in mind that new, young mom- or old mom, like me- who just can’t help falling in the trap. (haven’t we all been her before?) You could be the encouragement she needs.
Feel free to follow along on Instagram #MyDontSee for the mishaps and craziness that is my parenting style. :)
Sara McCarty says
Lindsey, I love love love this!! I compare, but I also know I’m only getting the highlight reel. I try to post true life photos as much as possible or at least explain in the caption that life isn’t as perfect as the photo may make it look. I definitely needed to see that more as a new mom, so I’m with you completely on that! Love the hashtag and will totally be following along!
Sara McCarty recently posted…Something Old, Something New
Nicole Delger says
Thanks for the post. What a great perspective – comparing your don’t see to see. I’ll remind myself next time it’s 3pm and I’m still in my PJs…