What Is Mother’s Day To You?

Mother’s Day is a day for handmade cards and fresh cut flowers; for brunch or breakfast in bed without the cleanup. It’s a day for calling your mother or grandmother to thank her for all she did for you because now you really understand what that means, and more importantly, understand how deeply she loves you. It’s for celebrating you and all you do every day for your kids and your family. It’s for toasting another year to the lady who balances a full-time job and family life and for appreciating the woman who stays at home with her children, both of whom have their daily struggles, but nonetheless manage to make it work despite the universe’s best efforts. It’s a day to forget every meltdown, every spilled cup of juice and every ounce of mom guilt you have felt while flying through motherhood by the seat of your yoga pants, wondering when it was going to get easier. It’s a day to thank you for wiping every runny nose and for every sleepless night, whether it was because you were up feeding your baby or were up wondering what he’s doing now that he has left the safety of your nest and is somehow old enough to survive on his own without you. It’s a day to cherish the sticky kisses and the “I love you Mommy”s and the precious moments that you will remember long after the days of spilled juice and meltdowns.

But to some, Mother’s Day is different.

Mother’s Day is a day for missing your mom, because she can no longer be reached on the phone despite how much you want thank her for everything she did for you. It’s a day for wondering when it will be your turn to wake up to breakfast and bed and a handmade card because you’ve struggled to have a baby when it seems that everyone around you is doing just that. It’s a day that brings up every emotion from the loss of a child no matter how long that child was in your life. It is a day that tugs at your heart and forces you to put on a smile for the sake of celebrations and fanfare.

And for some, Mother’s Day is some combination of many of these things.

Mother’s Day is not a Hallmark Card holiday. It’s not about brunch or flowers, it’s about celebrating the women in our lives. It’s about recognizing each other’s challenges and commending each other’s strength. It’s about paying tribute to those important women, past or present, who have made us who we are. It’s about telling that girl in the mirror how proud you are of her for everything she does and will continue to do every day, because she is strong, and she is a badass, and she is thriving despite all that has been thrown at her.

For me, Mother’s Day is about feeling grateful that I have had the opportunity to be a mom. It’s about letting go and being okay with the fact that life isn’t exactly how I pictured it would be. It’s about recognizing that despite challenges, I wouldn’t change a thing because that would mean my family would look different and I would not be the person I am right now. It’s about being in awe of my own mom and being thankful for the lessons she has taught me about motherhood (some I have still yet to master). It’s about holding my friends close and crying with them through their struggles and reminding myself to never stop reaching out. It’s about knowing that I couldn’t be the mom that I am without the support of so many who love me.

Mother’s Day means different things for different women. What does it mean for you?